It Does Not Do To Dwell On Dreams
by Serendipity's lost
Summary: AU. Sawada Tsunayoshi goes to sleep being the Heir of the Vongola famiglia, the student of the infamous Sun Arcobaleno Reborn, and wakes up in a hospital alone and twelve again. Possible slash in future chapters. R27. - INACTIVE STORY, NOT UPDATED.
1. 1: Keep Sleeping

Chap 1: '**_Keep Sleeping_**'

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_"Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." ― Oscar Wilde_

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A soft light entered through the windows, illuminating the peaceful face of the sleeping teen in the bed.

Brown eyelashes flutter from time to time as he keeps dreaming. A low repeating sound, almost like a heartbeat, is the only thing interrupting the peace and quiet in the room.

_Thud Thud Thud-.._

A cable connected to his wrist. A machine that beeps in a regular pattern, copying the rhythm of the teen's heart.

White, the colour of the sheets, of the walls, of the curtains. White like the clouds outside. Like the fresh snow in winter. But white is the last thing the sleeping teen is dreaming about.

No, indeed, his dreams are red and black and an explosion of the rainbow, at the same time.

Like death, and like blood, and sometimes, like rebirth. His dreams are of flashing silver green explosions, air slashing grins and hardheaded determination, of cow-print wearing children and grape sweets, of non-blood brothers and boxing gloves, of secrets and sharp smiles accompanied by strange laughs, of soft lilacs and eye-patches, of tonfas and yellow fluffy birds and, above all, he dreams of green chameleons and guns and dark suits and smiles and traps and deep black eyes that know your every thought.

The sleeping teen is dreaming of Reborn.

Reborn, his teacher, his friend, his mentor and his father, his inspiration and his desperation. Reborn is his Tutor, and he cant even think of his life without him anymore.

The teen's name is Tsunayoshi. His mother called him Tsu-kun years ago, his friends call him Tsuna, strangers call him Dame-Tsuna.

No-one calls him Sawada anymore. Maybe it doesn't appear like it, but its actually a great accomplishment. Tsuna never wanted to be a Sawada.

He doesn't want to be reminded every time someone calls him of his good-for-nothing father, so he isn't. It doesn't seem like Dame-Tsuna is a good alternative, but to him, it is.

Not that anyone knows the particular reason why he likes Tsuna more. Not that anyone would want to know it. He's nobody after all. He doesn't matter.

Still, he keeps dreaming. Unaware of the nurse that comes and goes, of the doctor entering to monitor him, of the sad eyed woman taking his hand and decorating the lonely room with some flowers.

But all dreams must end.

Deep in the night, when all the lights have been turned off and everyone is sleeping, the brunette slowly wakes up.

He wakes and immediately wants to keep dreaming. To turn asleep again. Fr he knows, oh, how he knows deep inside him, he knows that his dream was just that. A dream. Tsuna knows that everything, everyone, was just an illusion. Reborn had never came into his life after all. All that Mafia related situations, all a lie.

He is still just a nobody.

He had never been a friend, a brother, a boss to anyone. Not even a useless student.

He thinks, rather morbidly, that it would have been better if he had stayed sleeping forever. No-one would miss him. And his mother could finally get on with her life, forget her idiot son and her only tie with her no-seen husband, and be free again.

But..

He cant help but wonder, as the night turns into morning, that the dream was too real. Too cruel to be just a dream. Too vivid on his mind, the feelings were too fresh and too strange to be just.. His imagination, no?

But no, it was all a dream. After all.. He couldn't have possibly lived all that. Plus, it wasn't really him in the dreams. For he wasn't that old yet. And maybe he had already seen some of the people in his dream, yes. He remembered Kyoko from kindergarten. And he had seen the ever popular Yamamoto around. But that was just.. A fluke. After all, he was sure it was impossible for a little baby to be the most dangerous hitman in the world.

Yeah, just.. His imagination.

And it would remain his imagination for some time now.

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	2. 2: A Vision of the Truth

Chap 2: '_**The Vision of the Truth**__'_

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_"People think dreams aren't real just because they aren't made of matter, of particles. Dreams are real. But they are made of viewpoints, of images, of memories and puns and lost hopes."_

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Tsuna's stay in hospital was dull and monotone. Days blurring together in a mass of boring routines and series of really unnecessary tests.

Because, really, what were those strange exercises supposed to prove? That he could, indeed, touch his toes? He guessed there was a scientific and medical reason hidden there somewhere, but he didn't know it, so for him they were just bizarre things the doctor wanted him to do.

The only day the monotony was broken, coincidentally, was the day he woke up. Sure, he didn't actually know how long he had been hospitalized. He guessed he had been sleeping for a while, one wasn't just admitted in the hospital for being a late sleeper, after all. So he imagined it had been from a few days to a week.

Nothing to worry about, right? Well, his mother didn't think so, the nurses and doctor treating him didn't think so either. And that explained that when the day of his awakening the sun rose in the horizon and the first early risers began their routine, the nurse assigned to his ward of the hospital that morning almost had a heart attack when she saw him trying to disconnect the heart monitor from his wrist.

He swears it wasn't that bad. He had just been bleeding a little, not used to having a literal needle inside his arm, and maybe, just maybe, he had grabbed it too hard. But well, it itched. And he had been trying to get back asleep, but the dammed itching didnt let him.

Really, that nurse just exaggerated. It could be a shock to see someone previously in coma up and about, he acknowledged, but she didn't need to shout like that.

And then all was a whirlwind of activity. A bunch of nurses and doctors all there to check him out, and soon after, his mother came too. Tears flowing from her eyes, Sawada Nana was very much thankful to see her son conscious again. Her hugs lasted longer than ever before that day.

He didn't know, but he had been sleeping four months. A month for each year he dreamed of, he would later realize.

But the situation, as he had said before, quickly became dreary and monotone. For all the doctors were still surprised at his rapid recovery, it just didn't matter to him.

His mother came everyday, with home-made food, which he was really really grateful for. If there was something to be thankful for in this empty and grey world, it was for the little things that made his day brighter. Nana's food was on the top of the list.

There really was no comparing, no competition, not even a restaurant could boast of having better food than Nana's. So obviously the hospital food, famous for being bland and almost tasteless, didn't hold a candle to her cooking. Tsuna was sure of that.

'Sweetie, look, today I made you some veggies! Eat them all up, okay?' Nana's soft voice reprimanded him. 'I want you to get healthy soon, okay? You cant lose more classes or you'll have to repeat the year!'

Tsuna didn't see the problem with that. He wouldn't mind being held back a year if it meant not having to stick in his head all the lost months classes together.

Nana had been saving his homework all this time for when he woke up, as she said 'Two young ladies from your class were so nice as to keep giving me all your missed work! You should try to be so responsible too, Tsuna!' After giggling girlishly Nana continued. 'They were really pretty, Tsu-kun~! You should try to make friends with them, and maybe someday you'll bring home a girlfriend as nice as them!'

After much sputtering and denials, Nana stopped bothering him about it. Really, his mother could be so.. So.. So air-headed sometimes! He was sure it wasn't like the girls, who he was sure were actually Kyoko and Hana, were worried for him. It was probably that the teacher asked someone to do it, and Kyoko had taken pity on him and offered. Of course Hana had most likely followed to make sure nothing happened to her.

It wasn't like he had friends that worried after him.

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	3. 3: The Differences Shape Up Reality

_Chapter 3:__** 'The Differences Shape Up Reality' **_

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_"I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind." _

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The week he passed in observation in the hospital after his awakening was one of the most dull times in his life, ever. Not that his daily life wasn't dull in itself. But at the same time it was useful in ways he hadn't expected.

He used the time alone the stay afforded him to think. To remember what exactly was expected of him and what his normal life was like.. Something those dreams, so realistic and mind consuming, had made him forget.

He couldn't very well act as if he had some impossible goal to get to. As if he needed to be strong to protect imaginary friends. As if someone didn't think of him as Dame-Tsuna..

As if he had someone there watching his every move, looking after him with a proud gaze.

He watched his body in the mirror, a big one hanging from the wall. The bathroom resembled the room outside, with its white and metallic shades, almost spotless in its minimalism.

A short boy with uncontrollable spiky brown hair appeared reflected in the mirror's pearly surface. Wide brown eyes, honey coloured and almond shaped stared back at him. He was on the small size, but then again, that was only natural, he was just twelve years old.

Tsuna didn't recognize himself, not at first.

A fine scar under his eye the first variance. It wasn't too noticeable, but seeing that it was his face he spotted it immediately. A line that ran under his eye to the middle of his cheek, it didn't seem to be too bad. He examined it from various points if view, and he was sure a casual observer wouldn't even notice it.

After that he was worried it wasn't the only unknown scar he had, and quickly stripped. After closing with lock the door, he didn't want to give anyone a strip tease.

There aren't anymore unexpected wounds, the one he had he supposed came from the accident that brought him to the hospital in the first place. But he was too small, he didn't quite remember his body like this. He was pale, but then again, he had always been pale. Consequence of not going out to play in the summer with the other kids, of preferring to stay at home, alone and play by himself.

He didn't have calluses in his hands either, no, just soft unmarred skin greeted his eyes. Of course, he knew it was impossible, he had not really trained and sweated and bleed.

Tsuna brings his hands to eye level, turning them this way and that. They looked just like normal hands. There was nothing extraordinary about them.

He eyed the boy in the mirror. He was this fragile looking thing? He didn't feel like it.. Where was the teen that looked in the face of danger every morning? He tried to superimpose over the image one of a taller him, but it was an exercise in futility.

He just had to accept it. He wasn't that other him, never was. Even if it, by chance, really was some kind futuristic dream-like vision or some kind of alternate future, well.. There was no reason to focus on the 'what ifs' and 'what could haves'. What mattered was the now and here.

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